Flying the Unfriendly Skies

So, how's everyone doing? Man, it is hot here. Can't sleep, it's so hot. So I'm playing video games naked. (Kidding. Not wearing a shirt, though. My pale skin doth glow in the light of the television screen.)

So I'm playing Taito Legends 2, which is not only an awesome retro compilation, it's chock full of shoot em-up (shmup) goodness. I remember when the arcades were full of shooters, and I loved pumping quarters into those, even though I usually sucked at them. Still had a blast...um, blasting stuff. And sometimes I could get into the groove of the shooter...dodge, shoot, dodge, shoot, mega bomb, shoot, oh crap here comes the boss aaaannd I'm dead.

Now shmups, like arcades, are pretty much on life support. Xbox 360 live arcade does have a bunch of them, many new, so that's good. Don't have one of those yet,(new slim model looks cool though) so I make due with what shooters the PS1 and PS2 have in their library.

Does anyone here have a favorite shmup, either from the glory days of the arcade or on console? Or a series of shmups, for that matter?

Back to Taito Legends 2. There are a couple of bosses that are really ticking off.....

Two DS games that don't suck

Let's face it, a lot of DS games suck, and suck badly. Any of the dozens of Imagine titles, for instance, or anything with 'baby' or babyz' or whatever in the title. They kind of make me puke in my mouth a little, and also make me very embarrassed to look at the wall of DS games at Gamestop. I'm 41, makes me kinda feel like a perv or something to even glance at that crap.

Fortunately, there are a whole lot of good games for the DS that don't involve babies. I was very lucky to get some GS giftcards and a little money for my birthday, so I recently got two very good DS games:Glory of Heracles brand new for 15 bucks and Portrait of Ruin used for the same amount.


Glory of Heracles got mediocre reviews when it came out, but it's a pretty decent little RPG. Yes, you play a character, apparently an immortal demigod, with amnesia (an incredibly overused JRPG cliche), but the story is interesting and quite funny. The battle system is the standard turn-based affair, but each character has different passive and aggressive skills and magic abilities, which you can choose to 'soup up' by performing minigames on the touch screen. The music is nice, and the graphics are a little better then those you'd see on the PSOne, which is definately not a bad thing.

Overall, this JRPG does nothing radically different, but I am very much enjoying playing through the adventure and highly recommend it to anyone who like JRPGs, especially for the sweet $15 price.

Castlevania:Portrait of Ruin is your standard 'metriodvania' game, but when is that ever a bad thing? I've been wanting to get this game for quite a while, and when I saw it used (with case and instructions!) for $15, I snagged it. Haven't gotten very far, but what I see I like. The graphics are definately more detailed than than the GBA trio of Castlevania games (I have all three), and I like the fact that you can 'swap out' the two main characters, or even play with both at once, a nice touch. Plus the titular 'portraits of ruin' are a cool gimmick enabling players to visit different locations other the usual dreary old castle. I even like the story:set 1944, a really bad vampire dude named Brauner brings back Dracs' castle by collecting the tortured souls of those who died in World War II, and thus got his magical vampire powers back. Plus a whole bunch of hideous monsters to loot and pillage as a bonus!

I recommend this game also, but at this point anyone who is a Castlevania fan probably already has it. I have about 20 bucks left from my birthday, anyone recommend a good DS RPG? What about the other two DS Castlevanias?

Mario is not my hero

If there is any video game character that is iconic, it's Mario. The fat, mustachiod plumber is virtually synonimous with the medium itself. Even people who have never played a video game seem to recognize Mario. I don't doubt that some people worship at the alter of Mario, build shrines to him, buy every single game he is in and call them works of art. In fact, he is often integrated into art. In short, he is everything wonderful and great about video games.

Sorry to disagree, but I really could not care less about Mario and his games. Who died and made him a virtual god?

I may very well be missing the point, as I'm sure others will angrily attest to. I just have never understood what is so 'alluring' about the Mario character, and there is not one game that he is in that have ever liked. And that icludes Donkey Kong, when Mario is known as 'Jumpman.'

I have not played every Mario game, granted. I have played Super Mario and it's two sequels, and Super Mario 64. I have found most of these games far too hard, and thus aggrevating, as well as just plain boring to me. The only game I kinda-sorta liked is Super Mario 2, and that is not even a true Mario game! As for the others, I just usually give up in disgust, never to play the game again.

Plus it annoys me that Mario is whored out so badly by Nintendo. He's been in games of every sport imaginable, kart racing, RPGs (ok, I have played and enjoyed Mario and Luigi:Super Star Saga and Paper Mario:The Thousand Year Door. I will admit that.), educational games, dancing games(!), puzzle games, the list goes on and on. Most of these games are gobbled up by the gaming public, so of course Nintendo whores Mario out some more.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Mario. He is a likable character. I just don't understand how he is so bloody popular. Then again, I still don't know why Hana Montana/Miley Sirus is so popular, with literally thousands of products on the market. The girl seems nice enough, and she can sing, but how is she so popular? And why?

The only answer I can think of is age difference. I am 41, and was in my early to mid teens when the first Super Mario game came out and kick-started the video game industry after the crash of '83. Now there may be part of the answer:this game, and by proxy Nintendo, helped revive an all-but-dead-industry. That is a good thing, of course, but that was close to 25 years ago, and Mario is still, if not more so, as popular as he ever was. One could say that of Nintendo, who has been leaning on the 'we saved video gaming!' crutch for a very long time, and have been arrogant ever since. (Since Mario is pretty much representative of Nintendo, I had to put that jab in. Yeah, I'm not a big lover of the company right now.)

Anway, the age difference:a lot of people who were pretty young at the time played Super Mario as their first game (it did help that the game was a pack in with the NES.) As their first game, it had a big influence on them as budding video game enthusiasts. It was a fun and enjoyable experience for them, and so Mario became ingrained in their memory as a happy time in their young life. The ingredient of that magic called nostalgia, which I am certainly not immune to.

But I cut my teeth on the Atari 2600, before the crash, and gaming on that system formed the foundation of my nostalgic memories. Atari never had an official mascot or defining game, unless maybe it was Pac-Man (and everyone knows how badly that game turned out on the system.)

So can anyone explain to me why Mario and his games are so popular? I'm not trying to be a hate magnet here, I really don't get it. What am I missing? And does anyone agree with me, or am I alone in this?

XBox Love

I wrote a long blog last night, but somehow 1up deleted it. Pissed me off. I'm trying again, but this will be much shorter, in case it happens again.

I love my XBox. While most have forgotten about the original in lui of their shiny new 360s, I am still enjoying my big black box with the big green X on it.

I still play it almost every night. Granted, I got the XBox about the same year the 360 came out. So I was able to get a crapload of games at really cheap prices, new and used. Some bad, many very good. It seems very sad to me that the 360 did a half-assed job of emulating original XBox games. It's like Microsoft did not care that the XBox paved the way for the 360; that is was system better forgotten for 'bigger and better.'

I almost feel the XBox is like a latter day Dreamcast:both are excellent systems with quality games. Granted, I think XBox did last longer then the Dreamcast, which was around only a little more than two years. But the XBox didn't seem to last much longer.

Is it me, or have people forgotten what a trailblazer the XBox was? It was the first truly online system (although not the first. That was of course the Dreamcast.) It was also the first console to have a hard drive out of the box. Just two things that have become the pillars of this console generation.

I may get flak for this, but you guys can keep your 360 consoles that seem to be prone to burning out. I'm going to enjoy my still-working XBox (three years and counting) and play a little Far Cry. No achievements or leaderboards? Don't care.

Lookie what I got! Chaos Wars and EGM!!!

Chaos Wars for the PS2 and the first issue of the back from the dead EGM!!! Wheee!

Chaos Wars is a Gamestop only exclusive (I think.). It looked cool from previews and reviews, and best of all was only 10 bucks new! I managed to get the only copy left at the nearest Gamestop.

Haven't played it yet, but it seems interesting...a SRPG with characters from Gungrave, Shadow Hearts and various other Japanese series. I'm actually surprised this game made it over here, but I'm glad it did...games for the PS2 are slowing to a trickle, although that's to be expected. The system is close to 10 years old, after all.

I also got Lego Batman for the PS2 at Target. Normally don't care for the Lego games (they seem too childish), but I have played a little of the game and it's quite enjoyable. And it was on clearance for 5 bucks....can't complain about that! I also like the fact you can play as various Batman villains,albiet in cute lego form!

I am very happy that EGM is back. I got the first issue at the newstand, and although a subscription is only about 25 bucks, I'll wait until I'm working again. Which will be soon, I hope. The new EGM looks just as good, if not better, than it's last incarnation.

Below is a picture of the game and mag...I forgot to add Lego Batman (whoops!)

Two Great Artists Gone

Recently, two artists who dealt in fantasy passed away. One painted beautiful females and muscular barbarians with lifelike clarity, and another sang metal songs of the eternal battle of good verses evil.

Both men had a great influence on my imagination since I was young. I marveled at pictures that seemed so lifelike, even if they had dragons in them, that I could reach out and touch the scaly skin. A song called Sacred Heart become one of my favorite songs ever, with wizards and magic and a powerful talisman called the, curiously enough, sacred heart.

You may have known these artists, maybe not. It matters not; the passing of Frank Frazetta at 82, and of Ronnie James Dio at 67, affects me deeply. If you have ever loved fantasy or metal, or in my case both, the loss of these great artists is a saddening loss indeed.

Still, these great artists have left their own legacies behind:one in pictures, one in song. At least we will have those.

Rest in peace, Frank and Ronnie.

Ticked off, pissed off and generally annoyed

Sorry if this blog has zip to do with videogames, but there were a couple of things on the internet that make me just hate my fellow man, with a passion. And I'm really not fond of people in general.
Lane Bryant Lingerie add banned by Fox and CBS:
As you may or may not know, Lane Bryant makes clothes for 'larger women', or to put it another way, for women who actually look like normal, healthy women but in this ass-backwards society would be considered 'fat,' I quite honestly find such women very attractive, since, you know, they actually look like women instead of the size 0 bobbleheaded skeletons that are considered attractive nowadays. Lane Bryant did what I consider a very tasteful add of a very pretty 'full-figured' woman trying on different underwear before going on a dinner date. I think they show more skin on 'The Hills' (also full of bobbleheads). Check it: http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/banned-lane-bryant-lingerie-ad?cb=1272024994984&contribution=false
Fox and CBS basically banned this commercial because the model was 'showing too much cleavage'. WTF?
OMG! We can't have little Billy see this much cleavage on television! It will turn him into a raging sex pervert!!
Another excuse is that her breasts are too large. Let me type that again:her breasts are too large. I may be biased, being a straight guy and all, but what is the problem with a pretty girl having too large breasts (that I am sure are real, not fake? ).THIS can't be shown on television, though, oh no.
K'now how I see it? The fuckheads in charge of adverising do not want show happy, full figured woman in cute underwear. Replace the model in the commercial with a skinny bitch with fake boobs and everything would be hunky dorry, right? God forbid girls love their body's, no matter what size they are. And so the discrimination against women look they are supposed to, or even slightly overweight, continues.
I would like to hear comments on this matter. You know where I stand. There was another subject I wanted to rant about (IGN and their list of "Funniest movies of all time.:) I have problems not with the list, but with the morons who commented on the list. Almost all consisted of "Why isn't Dumb and Dumber on the list?" Because it's an insult to comedy, moron. http://movies.ign.com/articles/674/674712p1.html